Grief Diary: The Voice

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Fish Of Gold

If things aren’t unbearably terrible in my life, I tend to leave well enough alone. I just go along with it. It’s a survival mechanism; jumping from the frying pan inevitably leads to fire, so I tend to stay crispy. I have accomplished great change, but only when I have few options. If I’m not utterly miserable, if I’m not threatened, I leave things as they are.

This is not the best way to go about life, but it’s the only way I know. For me, life is not about getting ahead at my job or buying a nice new car; it’s about survival. From the time I died as an infant in NICU all the way through child sexual abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, prostitution, homelessness, traumatic brain injury, etc., my whole life has simply been about surviving from one day to the next, which doesn’t leave a lot…

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